Arguing can be healthy for a relationship, but having your opinions dismissed or ignored is not. "Even if you disagree, you should feel like the other person hears your point of view and respects it for the simple fact that they respect you," Sullivan says. "If they display some obvious gesture like eye rolling or simply shutting down the conversation, chances are they don’t care enough to engage."
Showing contempt is another sign that they're just tolerating you. "Contempt is a combination of when somebody feels they are superior over you, mixed with criticism," clinical psychologist, Dr. Danielle Forshee, tells Bustle "When you notice that there is much difficultly in your partner accepting influence from you, this means that your opinion usually is not considered or appreciated."
While it's totally OK for someone to disagree with you, it's still important to have a partner who listens, considers your opinion, and repects it.
So what should you do if you feel like your partner really is just tolerating you? "If you feel like your partner just tolerates you, maybe consider what you can to do be more self-sufficient," VanderDrift says. Basically, instead of trying to bring yourself closer to your partner, or convince them to do more than just tolerate you, boost your own sense of self. A great strategy, she says, is to call to mind everything you bring to the table in a relationship and in life.
"If you’re feeling good about yourself and handling your own issues, my prediction is that you’ll feel less anxious about the relationship, which will lead to either your partner being able to appreciate you to a greater degree, or you realizing that this relationship isn’t going to give you what you need." After all, no matter how much you care about your partner, you deserve a relationship where you're loved accepted for who you are.
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