Taylor Swift is definitely releasing new music soon, right? I wonder why we haven’t gotten any confirmation about anything. Tay covers the April issue of American Elle Magazine, her second April cover after the British Elle cover. She’s gearing up for something. But like her British Elle cover story, Taylor is still controlling the narrative around her and magazines are happy to let her. She’s not going to sit down for an interview. But she will list the 30 life lessons she’s learned ahead of her 30th birthday later this year. And those life lessons are… snakey. Slithery, if you will. There are some very real references to the whole Kim Kardashian-Kanye thing in 2016, when she got outed as a snake and then she claimed the snake as her own. You can read the full list of lessons here. These were the ones I found most interesting:
Be a snake: “Being sweet to everyone all the time can get you into a lot of trouble. While it may be born from having been raised to be a polite young lady, this can contribute to some of your life’s worst regrets if someone takes advantage of this trait in you. Grow a backbone, trust your gut, and know when to strike back. Be like a snake—only bite if someone steps on you.
On being canceled: “I learned that I have friends and fans in my life who don’t care if I’m #canceled. They were there in the worst times and they’re here now. The fans and their care for me, my well-being, and my music were the ones who pulled me through. The most emotional part of the Reputation Stadium Tour for me was knowing I was looking out at the faces of the people who helped me get back up. I’ll never forget the ones who stuck around.
On being the victim of petty bullying: “I learned that disarming someone’s petty bullying can be as simple as learning to laugh. In my experience, I’ve come to see that bullies want to be feared and taken seriously. A few years ago, someone started an online hate campaign by calling me a snake on the internet. The fact that so many people jumped on board with it led me to feeling lower than I’ve ever felt in my life, but I can’t tell you how hard I had to keep from laughing every time my 63-foot inflatable cobra named Karyn appeared onstage in front of 60,000 screaming fans. It’s the Stadium Tour equivalent of responding to a troll’s hateful Instagram comment with “lol.” It would be nice if we could get an apology from people who bully us, but maybe all I’ll ever get is the satisfaction of knowing I could survive it, and thrive in spite of it.
She’s no longer going to play footsie with white supremacists: “I’m finding my voice in terms of politics. I took a lot of time educating myself on the political system and the branches of government that are signing off on bills that affect our day-to-day life. I saw so many issues that put our most vulnerable citizens at risk, and felt like I had to speak up to try and help make a change. Only as someone approaching 30 did I feel informed enough to speak about it to my 114 million followers. Invoking racism and provoking fear through thinly veiled messaging is not what I want from our leaders, and I realized that it actually is my responsibility to use my influence against that disgusting rhetoric. I’m going to do more to help. We have a big race coming up next year.”
Well, there’s that. I mean, I have no desire to sit here on a sunny March day in the year of our lord 2019 and recap and dissect the snake drama from 2016 You remember it. I remember it. Taylor Swift remembers it. And I think it’s funny that she’s still salty about that sh-t, quite honestly. When was the last time Kim Kardashian even referenced it? It’s been years. But Taylor is still SO MAD that she was briefly “canceled” online after it turned out that she didn’t really tell the whole truth about her dealings with Kanye West. Kanye West might not have made this bitch famous, but White Snake is certainly willing to extend her Sympathetic Martyr/Aggrieved Darth Susan act to her thirtieth year.
Photos courtesy of Elle Magazine.
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